Footprints on the Mountainside

Isabs is an important part of my life now. I find that I believe in the process of development through T-Groups and the ISABS methodology more than any individual facilitator there, and I would like to become a certified trainer with them.

I have finally taken my first step in that direction when I completed my “Phase A” which is the first part of their professional development programme which leads to the certification of behavioural trainers through the T-Group methodology. This is the only kind of certification available for T-Groups in India.

The programme was full of insights and shifts in myself, as well as the way I see things. Strangely, the more I accept that my emotions and experiences are the property of the group and a part of our learning, the more I can acknowledge them and look at them freely and learn from them.

This Phase A comprises of two labs of the usual length and was far more eventful for me than all my previous labs. Part of this is also because I was far more ready to understand my behaviours and experiment with shifts that could lead to changes I desired. This readiness and acceptance of what I was, as I was led to me flowing and changing freely with very little stress.

I may or may not eventually write about my learnings, but they are an inseparable part of me now. I am living by them.

I am just back from another ISABS lab. This is the second time I did my ALHP. This event was very special and very different in many ways.

This was a low budget initiative aimed at making ISABS and the T-Group processes accessible to sections of society that cannot afford the high budget programmes that usually happen in resorts and are willing to live in basic comfort.

This was completely different from previous experiences for me. Normally, participants live in comfortable air-con rooms on a twin or triple sharing basis, with separate areas for dining and laboratories. Here, the entire community was accommodated in four dormitories, which also doubled as labs and one of the dormitories was used as the dining room as well.

All through the duration of the community, there was a constant churning of participants among the group. You sleep with some of them, meet different people at meal times, attend your lab groups with still another set of them, prefer some of them for company in the evenings……. a constant shuffle of people you’re with, but no such thing as an isolated space for anyone.

I had been very apprehensive about this lack of space, but got so swept in the flow, that I don’t remember what exactly it was that I had been apprehensive about.

Ok, the food could have been better, the fans could have worked, and small comforts could have been missed by some, but the phenomenal community feeling was….. indescribable. People had just knitted together so close, that we had turned into one big family.

It was also an amazing experience to have such a large representation of people from the NGO sector in the community, and a valuable insight into perspectives we had never really been very close to.

I may write more about this eventually.

Just as I was sad about how I missed the regional event and how it would be expensive to now go for a National event, I got the newsletter from ISABS that announces a new regional event that is IN Mumbai, very low budget and coming up soon.

I guess my ISABS journey is destined to go on without delays.

For folks in Mumbai, this is an unparalleled opportunity. The Umang 2007 event is from the 10th Oct to the 14th Oct 2007 and takes place in Malad - Aksa beach and overcomes one of the major hurdles for the common man to participate - money. Accommodation is dormitory type, but that is what brings it within reach.

So, where I was planning to go, my husband is also planning to join me this time with his BLHP.

Seriously folks, don’t miss this one. For more information, go the the ISABS website.

How dumb of me. I’d completely forgotten about the annual monsoon event ISABS usually has. I wanted to attend, but sigh! It already began on the 4th September. I’d completely forgotten about them, and whn I remembered and rushed to visit their site, I found that the event had already started. I’ll probably go for the next event. I was hoping for this Mumbai regional one - it works out cheaper than the national events.

I rarely write about this, so the posts are probably buried among others. For the curious, my previous posts about my ISABS journey were about improving myself after my BLHP - Basic Lab in Human Processes, and then when I was just back from my ALHP and when I went all sentimental about my journey continuing.

For those who are clueless about what I am going on and on about, ISABS is the Indian Society of Applied Behavioural Sciences. They conduct a variety of laboratories (as they are euphemistically called I guess - they are anything but impersonal) oriented toward self-discovery and interpersonal skills including facilitation skills with groups. The series of programmes are collectively referred to as a journey in the sense of self-discovery and improvement.

I honestly recommend these programmes to anyone interested in self-improvement.

The difficulty I faced in my ALHP has helped me face some needs I have in terms of emotions and insecurities.

Coming back from the programme, it was easy to just let go and return to my old ways of vague, supressed dissatisfactions, but I’m surprising myself with my eagerness to actually deal with my needs and care for myself. I’m trying to be aware of the motivations behind my actions, and seeing patterns in my own behaviour.

Don’t know where this is taking me, but right now, it feels like I’m an onion, with layers and layers and layers. The inner layers also have a greater tendency to bring tears I’m meeting myself for the first time and I like it.

Relationships are very important to me - is a new discovery I’m making. I like to connect with people. Perhaps this is why, rather than have a business website, Wide Aware has this massive informal place with pictures and discussions and articles which will never ever sell anything. I want adventurers to feel comfortable here. I want to connect with people.

Another thing I’m discovering is that I am very fast, and I tend to make people feel pressurised when I expect them to cope at my speed. By fast, I’m not speaking of actions, but of thoughts. It tends to alienate people when I do that, because it makes them feel inferior. It hurts me too, because I want them with me. I am now consciously trying to take my time and be sure that I am actually communicating, rather than assuming that people understand because of familarity, and I find that it is helping me be more connected with them.

There are other things too. I tend to focus intensely on things and tune out all distractions, which makes me lose touch with other things that are happening. I’m trying to maintain regular awareness of things I care about.

That’s it folks for now. Thanks for bearing with this rambling session, but it feels good to admit it, and acknowledge that I am also doing something to make things better. Hopefully, Nirvana is round the corner. Its more likely to be new discoveries round the corner.